My Dougieing, My Unicorn, and My Skates
by foreverFAX
Summary: What happens when you combine Max, skating, unicorns and a broken down 15 passenger van? Rated T cuz I'm a very paranoid person. DISCLAIMER: Iggy is in my closet and he is says "You Don't own Maximum Ride." : FAX
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Ok, so this whole thing is actually something that happened to my co-author dreams-and-schemes86 (plus her sister) and I. **

Chapter One

It was hot.

It was crowded.

It wasn't, in any way, shape or form comfortable, reasonable or even bearable.

So, no, going to a roller skating park, an hour away, in a fifteen passenger van, with no air conditioning, accompanying by my two nemeses was NOT on my wish list.

Call me quirky.

Of course, having my fabtabulus friends helped. Nudge, Angel, JJ, Kate, Star and Manda are about the most amazing people I have EVER met in my life because 1) they are as obsessed with unicorns as I am. 2) They agree with my longstanding theory that being normal is COMPLETELY over rated. I mean, come on, who _wouldn't_ want to have a pet unicorn named Dave and a (something) named Fluffernutter? And no matter what people tell you, it is indeed possible to catch this crazy disease so YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Just to clear that up for you.

Oh, and my name is Max but shh, that isn't important right now. Despite the fact this story is about me. ANYWHO…

We were on our way to a book club event in the cities. Yes, I joined a book club. This can be translated to "Mom forced me to join a book club". It was actually fun though. The books we read were classics and most of them (besides Smokey the Cowhorse which is THE WORST BOOK EVER WRITTEN) were good. Mrs. K, the adult supervision, made sure of that. But anyways, we meet once a month, we pay dues, eat lots of yummy food and hang out. Like right now.

Except, the only thing I could think about was Dylan who was relentlessly whispering in my ear, "Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple, PINEAPPLE!"

Have you ever had someone mouth something totally stupid into your ear thousands and thousands of times, for minutes on end, never stopping to take a breath? It isn't as pleasant as one might think.

"Do you HAVE a death wish?" I snapped. "Not that I'm complaining. Having you magically disappear would actually make my life bearable for once, but geez."

Amanda tsked her tongue mournfully. "I'll write your obituary," she offered.

"I'll help!" Nudge squealed.

"Oh, wow," Star sighed.

Dylan propped his feet up on my seat. "Oh, admit it, Max, you would DIE if I wasn't here to torment you," Dylan retorted smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. "You would cry for weeks."

I pushed his feet off and glared at him. "Let's test that theory. You die and if your prediction comes true I'll pay you three hundred bucks. It's a win win situation. What do you say?"

He tapped his cheek and thought about it. "Three hundred bucks would be nice but…nah. No, thanks."

"One could hope," I muttered under my breath.

I stared out the window, counting the cracks in the road. Yeah, I was bored. But in case you're wondering, there are exactly one hundred. Just so you know.

Paradise by Coldplay thumped through the speakers and I thanked God for letting me get a window seat. I felt like I at least had a little more breathing room.

"I'm sexy and I know it!" I heard Gazzy scream from behind me. Dylan and Sam snickered and the girls groaned.

"No," I told him, turning around to get a better view. He did a little happy dance that frankly freaked me out. "You're ugly and you show it," I corrected him.

He scowled at me and I shrugged. "Honesty is the policy," I told him reassuringly.

He merely stuck out his tongue.

I snickered at his immature action and resumed looking out the window and counting the cracks 189...195…200

"MAAAAAAAAAXXXXX! MAXMAXMAXMAX MAAAAAAX!" heard Dylan yell from the back.

I spun around "what!" I hissed.

"Hi" He said with a toothy grin.

I hit him on the side of the head.

Gosh guys can be _so _annoying sometimes… ok, who are we kidding here? They are annoying _all _the time.

"Ok guys! We will be there in around 10 minutes." Mrs. K shouted from the front.

A deafening cheer arose and I mentally did a little happy dance with myself.

Nudge spun around form where she was sitting in the front and shouted "KODAK MOMENT!" and snapped a picture.

Ten agonizing minutes later, we finally arrived at the forsaken Roller Garden.

"Let me out, LET ME OUT!" I screamed, pushing JJ and Kate out of the seat and jumping out the door.

"I'm FREE!" I yelled, doing an epic heel kick, followed by my amazing signature move, The Butterfly.

Dylan jumped out next and muttered, "That was just awkward for everybody."

I gave him a cheesy grin. "Oh, you just WISH you could be as awesome as I am."

Mrs. K rounded us up and announced in a loud and _very _serious voice, "Ok, here are the rules: there will be NO harassing of the staff. NO pushing little kids down. And most importantly-,"

But me being me, I cut her off screaming "WAIT! Dave isn't here yet! DYLAN! What did you do to Dave?" I accused viciously, looking wild eyed.

Dylan looked at me like I was crazy…but then again I did just accuse him of stealing my pet unicorn…so…maybe I was a little odd… NAAAAAAH, that can't be it.

Mrs. K ignored my little outburst and continued "And MOST importantly, Max, NO accusing random strangers of stealing your pet unicorn…other than that, just…don't blow anything up…"

And with that, we marched into the Roller Garden, and yes, we found Dave. He was behind a bush taking pictures of a cute female unicorn (CREEPER)

**OH and yes, Dave the unicorn is totally real. And he wants you to REVIEW! **


	2. Me? Competitive? Nah

**Ok people, we are kinda disappointed, because we had over 1,400 views but only 2 reviews. So new rule, 10 reviews on no update. Oh and yes this story has a storyline but me and my friends are super random so yeah…enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Me? Competitive? Nah.**

**DISCLAIMER: Iggy is in my closet and is telling me I don't own Maximum Ride cuz I'm not JP.**

We walked up to the ticket booth where Mrs. K paid. The lady behind the glass was already looking bored even though the roller rink had just opened. "Have a fun time," she said lamely.

Her supervisor behind her tsked as we walked in. I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

As I walked in the heavy door I ran into possibly the single hottest guy I have ever seen, He had eyes so dark they were almost black, Olive skin, midnight black hair with white blonde tips and was way muscular.

Let's get one thing straight: I am not by any means boy crazy. Just ask Nudge or JJ they know firsthand…but that's a story for another time.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you had a thought process about some really random thing not realizing that you said it all out loud? Yup the whole rant I had gone on about how hot that guy was, I had said it all out loud.

Kill. Me. Now.

Everyone started laughing like maniacs.

On the bright side what's his face (ok I think I'm gonna start calling what's his face Fred.) Anyways, Fred was out of ear shot before I had this embarrassing rant and I silently thanked God for that mercy.

I braced myself for the brutal crap Dylan, Sam and Gazzy were about to give me.

As predicted, Dylan was the first to speak up. "Oh ho-ho! Does Maxie-Waxie have a wittle crush?" He teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I smacked him upside the head.

"OWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" he squealed like a baby.

"Oh, grow up." I snapped. Then I stuck out my tongue at him. Yup I know, I stuck my tongue out at someone after telling them to grow up. Yup. I'm cool.

Dylan rolled his eyes and all of us walked up to the roller-skate-hander outer-guy.

After we got our skates and put them on, Kate attempted to stand up but fell flat on her back.

It was sad and looked like it hurt but I couldn't help but laugh a little as I pulled her up to her feet. "Good job Kate, good job" I joked.

She laughed. "Yup you should be jealous of my mad skills."

The guys rolled their eyes and skated out to the rink part.

Ok now I have been skating here before so I was exceptionally good but I would have never ever thought that Dylan Walker could skate.

And he was actually really good.

I skated on to the rink and almost immediately lost my balance, and of course right when I lost my balance Dylan skated by and started laughing at me.

This. Means. War.

"There is not a snowballs chance in hell that Dylan Walker will ever out do me in anything." I mumbled to myself.

I regained my balance and started skating gracefully across the rink.

The rest of the girls skated up alongside me "Isn't this fun!" Star squealed.

I just nodded still mad that Dylan had to see me fall.

The first few times that we went around the rink was uneventful but that's when Dylan came up and said with a smirk "I bet I can out skate you."

I scoffed. "Yeah, of course you can, but only in your wildest dreams."

"Ok then, I challenge you to a race. Whoever can go around the rink five times in the least amount of time wins."

I shrugged. "Sure thing, Mr. Big Ego. But just so you know, you are going to lose."

He grinned like a maniac and took his place at a corner.

"Watch and learn," I told my friends. "And keep track."

I took my spot next to him and stretched out a little bit.

"You're pathetic," Dylan told me.

"No," I corrected him. "I'm smart. Be jealous."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Ready?"

"Ready," I said getting into my starting stance.

"On your mark. Get set. GO!" Kate yelled.

We were off like there was no tomorrow.

For the first lap around the rink I was in the lead until Dylan, being the idiot he is, pushed an elderly couple into my way. Consequently, I nearly killed them. And who knew old ladies swore?

I do now.

"Sorry!" I yelled over my shoulder, speeding up to catch Dylan.

"You idiot!" I yelled when I caught up. "I almost KILLED them!"

He grinned. "Key word. ALMOST."

"Jerk," I muttered. "See ya, Dylan," I called, passing him as we rushed around the corner.

"Three laps to go," I muttered to myself.

"Whoo!" Kate and Nudge screamed. "Go, Max!"

I grinned and sped by them.

"Hey, Maxie-Waxie," Dylan greeted me when he finally caught up.

"Hey, slow poke. You can give up now if you want to."

"Nah," he declined. "But you can."

"No thanks," I said, speeding up, weaving through people. "Eat my dust, Dylan!" I called behind me.

I was in the lead until the final lap, which was when Dylan finally caught up again.

I noticed we had a little crowd watching us. It pressured me even more and I sped up around the last corner. Now it was a straight shot.

I was almost finished when Fred (aka really, really hot guy) tipped his hat to me as he passed by.

And that, my friends, is when I slipped, fell and almost killed myself.

My obit would read: Killed by love.

**And that's a wrap! Sorry that we haven't updated in a while. REMEMBER 10 REVEIWS OR NO UPDATE!**


	3. Fang

***sniffle* I has hurt feelings. We got over 100 hits but only 4 reviews… so this is your last chance, if we don't get at least 5 reviews on this chapter STORY WILL BE DROPPED!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the story line**

**Chapter 3**

Ok so right now I was lying on my face on the hard floor of the roller rink…great.

I looked up just in time to see Dylan complete the last lap, I rolled my eyes.

Fred skated over and helped me up.

"You ok?" he asked looking into my eyes.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak cuz, knowing me, I'd start ranting about how smokin' hot he was.

He nodded and then with a smirked "I'm Fang by the way," he said in a deep voice that made me melt.

I smiled "Max."

He looked confused "Isn't Max a bay's name?"

He did _not _I just go there.

I smirked. "Isn't Fang a dog's name?"

He laughed. "Touché." Then added, "See you around, Max." He winked at me then skated off.

Sigh, he is so dreamy…

JJ's voice was taking me out of my train of thought "_Max, Max, _MAX!" she screamed in my ear.

"What!" I yelled back

"What happened?" she asked confused "You were in the lead then all of a sudden you dropped like a rock!"

I sighed.

Personally I think it was totally worth losing the race just to have that 1 minutes conversation with *giggle* Fang.

JJ slapped me across the face.

I gaped at her "What was that for!" I exclaimed.

She rolled her eyes "What just happened?"

I smirked. "Oh ya know, just talked to possibly the hottest guy on the planet—no make that the universe."

She raised an eyebrow at me "The hottie from the door?"

I nodded "His name is Fang"

"Fang?" she asked. "Who names their kid Fang?"

I shrugged. "Who names their kid Maximum?"

She laughed. "Good point."

We skated over to where the others where standing by the wall.

"Hi-ya loser" Dylan gloated.

I decided to take the high road. "Hi-ya winner."

He looked a little shocked that I didn't shoot him a snappy comeback.

He placed a hand over his heart and looked at me, horrified. "Is The Maximum Ride out of comebacks? I thought the day would never come! What should we do? Maybe I should call 911. Or the ambulance."

Sam rolled his eyes. "That's the same thing, Dylan, duh. Way to be stupid."

Dylan glared at Sam. "Sam. I was right in the middle of a VERY important conversation with my dear, lovely, arch nemesis and—"

I rolled my eyes and motioned for my friends to follow me. "Let's just go skate."

Maybe I'd fall again.

If I did maybe he'd help me up again.

And maybe I'd get his number…

**Ok so remember we want _at least _5 reviews or story will be dropped.**

**The more reviews we get, the faster updates will come.**


	4. Warm Water Isn't Refreshing

**Hey Guys! D-and-s86 and foreverFAX here! And Dave…and Myrtle Winifred…wow this is turning into a PAR-TAY! **

**Anywho. New Chapter. Enjoy. THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! You guys are awesome. **

**DISCLAIMER: The day Mickey Mouse loves Daffy Duck is the day we will own MR. So there.**

Ten times around the rink is okay. But when you get to thirty? You get tired.

Fact o' life.

But on the bright side watching all the skaters on the floor was pretty awesome. I had no idea people could skate and dance at the same time.

Watching another lady spin around looking like a cool person (where as I was just trying not to fall on my butt) my eyes fell on Fang.

Holy moley, pudding and pie that guy could DANCE.

Have I mentioned that I dance? I haven't? Oh. Well now I have.

And I also tend to think that guys who dance are really, really hot. How convenient is that? He's hot and he dances… multi-tasking at it's finest.

Multi-tasking at it's finest.

Ten times around the rink is okay. But when you get to thirty? You get tired.

Fact of life.

"Hey, I'm gonna get a drink," I announced in a loud voice as I skated away.

And what do you know? A certain, tall, handsome young lad (ahem…Fang) was in line too, getting a bottle of water.

But seeing as I'm not that fancy shmancy…I had to go to the water fountain. Which had very warm water, might I add.

So newly refreshed (or as refreshed as I could get with warm water) I started skating back to the rink.

Then, as I skated by, I heard Dylan scream bloody murder from the rink. I immediately looked over and he smirked triumphantly.

"Made ya look." He said as he went back to skating.

"RETARD!" I yelled at him right as Fang past by.

He gave me a funny look. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Not you," I said in an annoyed tone. "That guy, in front of you, the one that should have a sign taped on his back saying "IDIOT".

Fang smiled knowingly. "Oh…so your boyfriend."

I coughed and started choking on my spit thinking of how horrid that would be.

"The day I date (cough, cough, gag) that miserable hunk of idiocy will be the day orange bananas sing Christmas carols (cough, cough, hack)."

He rolled his eyes. "Well that was creative. Ten points for sarcasm."

I stared at him. "You think I was being SARCASTIC?" I asked, flabbergasted. "That was NOT sarcasm. That was the total, honest to God truth!"

He grinned and my knees seriously went weak. "Whatever you say, Max. See ya."

Would it be bad to say that I had an overwhelming desire to yell "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!"?

I think so. And all because he said my name.

I was in some deep doo-doo.

**Okay so let's try six reviews? Maybe? Yes? You can do it! We have faith in you. :D And we actually want…reviews. Saying something random that doesn't relate to the story doesn't really count…sorry!**

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	5. IMPORTANT AN

**Hey everyone! We are taking the story off of this account and moving it to our joint account, the name is "those3people". We will be switching everything over sometime this week. STAY TUNED!**

**~foreverFAX**


	6. Authors note

**Ok people! The story is now on our group profile (those3people) so go check it out! (Sorry is took me so long to get me up…who knew school could be so overwhelming?) We will be posting a new chapter soon so yeah…. IT WILL BE POSTED ON OUR OTHER ACCOUNT SO DON'T LOOK FOR UPDATES ON THIS ONE! Hehe…I have an unhealthy addiction to caps lock….**


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